For August book club, we tried something new thanks to a former co-worker and college friend’s recommendation. Gifted and Distractible is a book that helps elucidate why a child can excel at math and yet lose it over having to execute mundane tasks. Ms. Skolnick explains a concept I had never heard of before: twice exceptional (2e) children, and highlights that even experts disagree about how to support them. (Not to bury the lede, but I found this moderately depressing.)
First she delves into terminology. Gifted signifies having the capability to perform at a high level cognitively, creatively, academically, or artistically compared to peers. Gifted children make connections others miss, show intense curiosity about topics, or demonstrate advanced reasoning skills. She also describes “distracted” in reference to learning differences like ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, and sensory issues that make learning challenging. These differences or disabilities can affect children’s motivation, behavior, comprehension, and skill development so it’s important to identify where and why a child is struggling. “Twice exceptional” refers to a child who is gifted and also has a learning difference, making their needs more complex. The magnitude of their strengths and weaknesses make them difficult to identify and serve.
Next she goes into three experiences that can provide insight if one has a twice exceptional child.
First she describes asynchronous development. Gifted children often develop unevenly across the spectrum. They may be advanced in math but struggle with speech, fine motor skills, or social behaviors. Gifted children may also have splinter skills, which are skills they don’t generalize across other situations, and are highly advanced compared to their overall abilities.
The second experience is perfectionism. 2e kids often fixate on flaws others don’t notice. They may need help letting go and building self-esteem when things aren’t perfect. Perfectionism (which can happen in any kind of kid, and let’s be honest across many of the high-achieving adults with whom I’ve worked) can be driven by a desire for control or fear of failure. Finding perspectives on perceived imperfections can help. She tries to focus on ways to assist these children in building resilience, and the number one technique (also referred to often in Angela Duckworth’s wonderful book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) is to praise effort and growth, not outcomes.
The third experience 2e children often have is overexcitability. Whether it’s intellectual, emotional, imaginational, sensory, or psychomotor, many 2e children crave stimulus. This intense trait isn’t a deficit, but a sign of potential that requires nurturing. For example, a child with psychomotor overexcitability may struggle to sit still and choose to run around the room while listening to a teacher. It’s important to recognize that by running, this child is exercising a choice to cope with their seemingly conflicting needs to listen and move. While it may not be an appropriate choice for the classroom, recognizing the child’s attempt to cope will be more fruitful than just demanding that they sit down.
Ms Skolnick discusses how knowing the background of 2e children, and understanding how they experience the world is crucial when it comes to advocacy, but I think her narrative is relevant for understanding many of the gifted coworkers we all have. Few people are high achievers in every access, but the asymmetries we all have are often what leads to genius in domains critical for companies. Understanding how to proactively improve environments for neuro-diverse employees is an increasingly important skill for managers. To create a path forward, we all need to understand more about how to unlock the creativity and success of these individuals.
Ms. Skolnick talks about how giftedness can be assessed through IQ and achievement testing, grades, and teacher observations. Learning differences can be evaluated through psychoeducational testing, developmental history, and specialist analysis. Since gifts can mask disabilities, and vice versa, she talks about how comprehensive testing is vital to uncover the dual needs. Recording observations at home, and partnering with experts to gain a holistic view is the combination that tends to work best. I found this advice somewhat frustrating: as a mother of two little boys in the current American medical system, getting assessments and the time of experts with two working parents has been nearly impossible. Working through the challenges of our medical system and being a full-time advocate for my children would be a full time job (in fact, from her bio, it does seem this may have been Ms. Skolnick’s path into her current profession).
I hope that this may be an opportunity for AI in the future: assistive and even adaptive technology for education which adjusts to the interests and requirements of the child, modified assignments or assessment techniques that are better at finding the strengths and weaknesses of our children, and more adaptive enrichment opportunities will hopefully help teachers more objectively understand a child’s strengths and needs. I find while my husband and I are deeply involved in our childrens’ education, we as their parents can sometimes be more triggering than successful in assisting them, and so improving mechanisms to personalize education in the classroom seems like a strong win for parents, teachers, and all children, 2e or otherwise.
Other advice offered by the author is to seek out 2e communities. While I have little doubt that connecting with those facing similar challenges provides validation, I come back to the, “does this process sound overwhelming?” thread. The answer for me is yes. She encourages parents to start with their own insights and observations, and find the expertise as needed. Again, I deeply appreciated the concepts in this book, most specifically not focusing on the weaknesses, but rather doubling down on the strengths of our children to help them find the path to thrive.